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So what now?

One of the things that I have prayed vehemently for since I began my career journey in 2009, which is the same time that I became the parent of a toddler, is patience. Four years later, I am still asking for wisdom, strength, and you guessed it, PATIENCE!

It’s hard for me to not be in control of my future, especially considering how out of control I was in my distant past. This is something that I have identified within myself: control equates to success whereas out-of-control equates to disaster. What I forget is that I can only control myself, not my surroundings. So how to I keep trudging along and holding steadfast to my positivity and dreams when, seemingly, I am encountering nothing but disappointment, rejection, and frustrations? And just where is that patience I have been praying for?! 

I want to be a positive force in the classroom, but I feel like I may never have that opportunity considering the ambiguous, and somewhat perilous, state of education. I doubt myself and the choices I have made because I am 30 and I am still working part-time. Yes, I am teaching and am insanely happy, proud, thankful to be doing so…but I want more. I am not satisfied with taking what I can get.

It all boils down to the fact that I really thought that I’d have it all figured out by now…that I’d really have my sh!t together at this point in my life. As it turns out, I am more confused now than I have ever been in my life. Why can’t I have what I want? Why can’t I have it my way?

The honest reality of the situation is something I find myself shyly grappling with: what if my life is destined to be something completely different than what I intended for it to be? What if it’s not patience that I need, but direction? Maybe my internal compass has gone all wonky after the devastating things I experienced in 2009. If it is, how do I fix it? What do I pray for now? Is this settling, or graciously accepting what is for what it is? 

I am not an extremely vocal religious person, and I do not attend church regularly. It makes me extremely uncomfortable. However, I do believe in my higher power as well as the power of prayer. I’d like to know what you pray for when your light flickers, yet you refuse to let it go out. 

10 Ways to Fight Standardization « Cooperative Catalyst

cooperativecatalyst:

The sage is the one who calmly reshapes the system, gaining the respect of the power brokers and deal-makers. The lunatic, by contrast, rages against the system, speaking out boldly for what he or she sees as inhuman and unjust.

Sage Approach

  1. Communicate Results: I hate the tests. However, I recognize that standardized teaching occurs at such a low cognitive level that authentic learning will almost always lead to higher test scores. People thought I was crazy for using customized and authentic learning strategies until they saw the test results.  It gave me a bit of a “free card.”
  2. Be Sneaky: When told to create a word wall, I used the word “asinine” next to “standardized tests.” When told I had to use the math book, I had students examine the pseudocontext of the word problems.
  3. Use Their Language: I learned to talk about data as I explained the authentic assessments. I learned to structure customized learning into lesson plans under “enrichment” and “intervention.” I learned to find the standards that fit with differentiated instruction. In other words, I found a way to do what I wanted to do and use standardized language to explain it.
  4. Decide When To Conform: I tell my administration each year that I will not write referrals. I will refer to procedures are “shared rituals” and I will work within a philosophy of “the freedom to learn.” My class runs smoothly, precisely because I abandon the system of punishments and rewards. However, I also recognize that I have to grudgingly follow silly rules like shirts tucked in, straight lines and silence during tests. I explain to the students why I disagree with these rules and why I choose to conform on some of the small things. I use the following litmus test: Will this ruin learning?  Will this dehumanize students?
  5. Find Common Ground: Often the proponents of standardization are not mean-spirited people who hate kids. Instead, they want students to thrive and fear that a progressive approach will water down standards. A sage is able to build a bridge between traditional reformers and authentic reformers so that people see a rational side to our argument.

Lunatic Approach

  1. Reconfigure your class: I use groups, allow for movement and create specialized centers that students can go to at any moment. My students paint classroom murals and works of art on classroom canvases. All of these are small, subtle steps toward humanizing our classroom environment.
  2. Teach the Reality of Tests: I tell my kids about the rigged system they are up against. Many of them have written letters speaking out against these injustices.
  3. Speak Out: I talk to parents, district office representatives and the larger blogging community about my feelings regarding standardization. I’ve written a book and a guest article for the Washington Post blog.
  4. Be Bold: When people told me that students needed to hand-write all drafts before using our classroom blog, I defiantly refused. When a curriculum specialist once told me that we couldn’t do a documentary, because it wasn’t “real learning,” I told her I would rather lose my job than give up the project. There is a time when teachers need to stand up and say, “Okay, write me up. Fire me. Go ahead. This is too valuable of a learning experience to give up.”
  5. Provide an Alternative: While it’s easy to bust on professional development, the lunatic can articulate a crazy vision of a better method of teacher learning (such as a PLN). Similarly, a teacher who hates standardized tests needs to have a list of alternative assessments that work better. In a Waiting for Superman world, it’s key that we create a non-standard, alternative story that will be more compelling, authentic and inspiring than what’s currently being peddled by the press.

True Story

A nugget for you that is not for school or a repost. It’s me : )

And now I have forgotten that ever important, pressing thought that I just had to log on to post about. However moving and thoroughly consuming, that thing must have been a true flicker in the wind that is my mind. Maybe I should listen to forgetting more than trying so desperately to remember. There is significance in losing sight after all. Now that’s powerful.

Exposure is what it’s all about anyway, right?

my creative soul

People need to be reminded that their creativity is THEIR’S and therefore unlike any other’s. They won’t be able to draw, write, paint, design, create like anyone else, but they can do so like only they can. Imitation is a sincere form of flattery. What it is not is a direct reflection of one’s true talent nor pure and original. Creativity is a form of both release and expression. It’s good for the soul. Everyone possesses these creative qualities and abilities; it’s just a question of how to awaken and evoke it out of hiding.   

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